Not so long ago while driving to Bandung, a friend of mine chat about his worries for his upcoming marriage, getting cold feet eh? Well in western society you could ask your friend preparing an emergency escape route if you change your mind on the last minute, for example you could pretend to passed out at the altar then your friend could drove you away he3x.
Hmmm… there are lots of cliché questions regarding marriage such as: is she or he the right one for me or am I the right person for her or for him, or are we’re gonna be happy together? Well the bad news is perhaps you’ll find out not before but after you’re getting married, but the good news is you might actually marrying the most suitable person for you, just by enjoying your journey together.
Contemplating on my friend uncertainty back then, I'd like to share my opinion to give them something to think about.
Maybe you could start with yourself first, we all have little flaws here and there, so if we could accept our own imperfection lightly then we should check if we could tolerate our spouse imperfection, if you love each other so much (well it’s the chemistry inside your brains or perhaps the hormones he3x) then you’ll accept he or she as it is and you’ll always believe that whatever he or she did always intend to give the best to you and nothing less.
But something that both of you should aware from the beginning is your expectations on your life, it’s quite delicate because every person has their own dreams and desires.
*remember one of our ‘jomblus ajus’(=being single for a long time) friend that has a thing with pizza and batman? Perhaps we should introduce him to a nice girl wearing batgirl costume holding a hot and steamy pizza on one hand, while offering a batman costume to him with her other hand. (He3x this is just a hyperbolic illustration).
My point is please make sure that you’re quite understand and comfortable with your spouse’s dreams and desires from the beginning, and he or she also knows and comfortable with your dreams and desires too, many young couples have difficulties with their marriage life because they don’t seem to know what they want in life and hope that marriage will make them happier, so please help them God.
Another thing that you guys should be aware of is the mutual contentment, perhaps he or she is not the best there is for you, but if you feel content with him or her, then you’ll be just fine.
PS: content means happy with one’s lot
just want to share tuk topik yg sama.....
BalasHapustahun ini gue berkesempatan nemenin 2 orang temen deket yg mau married.
lucunya, mereka mengalami 2 hal yg berbeda menjelang pernikahannya
yg pertama termasuk tipe adem ayem dalam artian gak bertengkar selama proses menjelang pernikahan, rahasianya kata mereka, di saat salah satu sedang high temper, yg lainnya harus lebih tenang & pengertian. menurut gue ini bagus banget karena pernak pernik menjelang menikah itu emang rada ngejelimet & bikin emosi. ada baiknya kedua belah pihak bisa saling support dan tau kapan menempatkan diri.
sedang temen gue yg kedua termasuk tipe pasangan rame, dalam artian demen cekcok menjelang pernikahan. kata si cewek, apa aja yg dia omongin sama cowoknya selalu berbuntut dengan pertengkaran makanya dia berusaha ambil jarak dan jarang berkomunikasi ama cowoknya. awalnya gue rada khawatir juga ama mereka karena takut kebiasaan ini berlanjut sampe mereka menikah nanti. tapi hasil dari tanya sana sini, katanya wajar kok, pasangan yg mau menikah rada lebih banyak ributnya karena masing2 (seperti yg elo bilang diatas) lagi ngalamin cold feet. mungkin bener kata orang tua, orang yg mau nikah mending dipingit aja dan gak usah ketemuan ampe nanti hari H-nya.
so, gue sendiri gak bisa nyimpulin mana yg bener dan yg paling tepat. mungkin tiap pasangan punya cara yg berbeda dalam menyikapi tahap-tahap memasuki kehidupan yg baru buat mereka. as a friend, gue cuma berusaha nunjukin, i'll be there whenever u need me. tapi gak usah maksa juga, sometimes, mereka juga butuh waktu sendiri tuk merenung.
good luck for ur friend....wish him the best :)
BalasHapushmm.. jadi inget ttg bahasa cinta neh mas :p
...and the self-proclaimed psych has spoken...lol
BalasHapusnice writing. hope I'll have no cold feet when my time is due O_o
i highlight these...
BalasHapusaduh mas jangan terlalu dalem mikirnya. Katanya sich Just Do It. Let God decide. hm
BalasHapusthank you :-)
BalasHapusgitu ya? :-)
BalasHapushe3x thanks :-)
BalasHapusyes dear :-)
BalasHapushe3x cuma menyemangati teman nih, biar mereka lebih mantep lagi :-)
BalasHapus